Sad Clues You’re Getting Older

This time of the year, especially when snowed in and you have time on your hands, thoughts turn to the New Year and the things you want to accomplish during the coming year.

Major clue your getting older – when you list does not start with fantastic beach sex with handsome stranger, but rather you start listing the medical checkups you need to have perform.  After all, what is vacation for if not to recuperate from having suspicious moles removed?

So there I lay on the bed, waking up from my nap, going through my list.

(1)  Glasses – check – we all need new glasses this year.  Savvy wants to go back to contacts.

(2) Teeth cleaned – for the girls.  I still can’t make myself go in.

(3) Foot – you know that spot right under my middle toe has been hurting since the summer.  And right above my ankle seems to swell up sometimes….

Oh, this is just wrong! Don’t know who needs to go into a body shop more – me or the car!

So…..

If I can’t have fantastic sex on the beach (I would settle for so-so sex on the beach at this point), then can I at least check and see if massages are covered by insurance?