Mandala Monday - Believing in Yourself

Yesterday I wrote about all the plans I had in my head and wanted to accomplish over the next year (or so).  I forgot to add I have two book plans started also.  But I was/am feeling a bit out of sorts and unsettled.  I had used the picture of the tree branches in a homework project and liked the look of the stark black and white.  It looks cold and lonely and, well, wintery.

The mandala above was created from that picture.  I have always loved the look of bare branches against a winter sky.  I really love how they turned into lace for this piece.  And the background for the mandala was set against a splatter brush I created for a homework assignment.  I love just how the hint of white against the black really works.

But I have come to the conclusion that part of my unsettled feeling is that while I want to 'put myself out there' and do these things, there is a part of me, that inner critic you could say, asking me 'who do you think you are?'

No, I haven't written any books on art journaling or journaling, but I have journaled on and off most of my life.  I have a huge box of journals (still in storage, by the way). I have read extensively on the subject.  I know how to stand in front of a group of people and lead a class (did it for a couple of years at work and was paid to do it!)  These are subjects I know and love and I think I can share that love and knowledge.  But it's taking those first steps that are scary and making the final commitment to actually doing rather than just "fixin' to".

Which leads me to another thing.  I realized where some of my feelings were coming from when I was talking to a friend/co-worker who is probably going to be making a big move at work.  While I will miss her interaction a couple of days a week when we work together, she is PERFECT for the position she is trying for.  Her issue - she doesn't necessarily have all the paper requirements they are looking for.  But those things she doesn't know about those things, she can learn.  She's not a dummy.  And she is willing to learn.  What she does have is a passion for children and books.  And she has been a teacher, so she knows how to plan and lead and nurture children.  But she has doubts about her worthiness for the job if she does get it.  I tell her "Pffff"...she is more than worthy for the job and they would be so fortunate to get her into it.

So we both need to pack up those inner critics and send them away on a vacation somewhere.  For a long vacation....and I need to get back to writing for NaNo!