Positive Focus Sunday - Inviting Optimism Into Your Life

Ok, I admit.

I have been in a bit of a 'funk' lately. 

No particular reason, but I have been feeling like Pigpen from the Charlie Brown comic strip. Walking around with a cloud billowing up around me. 

It's not pleasant. 

It's been a bit like this...

The police monitoring tower in the parking lot of the grocery store where I shop seems to have bit the dust when the rains came through. Yeah, laying in the parking lot in the rain pretty much describes my mood.

In my 'funk', I decided to check a book of my reading list which has been languishing. It's the latest Julia Cameron book, Living the Artist's Way. Week four, which I was on (and it's been several weeks between reads) is entitled 'Inviting Optimism'. The premise of this week is exploring 'areas where you can find self-forgiveness and a sense of hope.'

She goes on to say, 

"Counting your positives - the things you did right - helps you build a grounded and optimistic sense of self. You are not powerless. You have many small choice points where you can spot the good. For example, "I ate well today." "I walked."

 

Ok, that has hit a nerve. 

I have all these ideas and projects going on and yet I feel like I am getting nowhere in any of them. None of them are at a point of being completed. 

It has made me stop and think some.

This was my veggie garden area at the first of last week...

I had finally gotten the grass and weeds down enough to start 'working' on getting it set up. But frankly, I was looking at it and thinking 'it looks like shit' and 'what's the point'.

I continued on anyway, dragging my feet, tools, plants and cardboard down the slope to the backyard. I hated myself for being so stiff getting up and down from being on the ground digging holes and planting. I hated that it wasn't neatly trimmed and had borders and tons of mulching. 

In other words, I was comparing what I had to what other people had. Gardens which have been established for several years, rather than what is still in the developmental stages. Looking at gardens which I admire, but are not me and my 'style'. 

I AM BEATING MYSELF UP OVER WHAT I FEEL ARE MY SHORTCOMINGS!

Talk about being your own worse critic!

I looked over pictures I had taken this past week. 

My strawberry harvest to date. 

Is it enough to can? No. But then I only have a few plants and they are ever-bearing, meaning they will produce over a longer period of time and not just once and done. But that's what I want. A few berries all summer. I can go get all the berries I want to turn into jam or freeze right up the road, supporting my local farmer. Out my front door, I can pick a few here and there, snacking as I garden for several weeks. 

WIN!

My rescue clematis. 

Sure, she has a few bug holes in her. Am I going to rip her out of the ground because she isn't perfect? Hell, no! Is she thriving and blooming? YES! Does she make me happy to look at her and watch how she changes over the next few days? YES!

I received an early Mother's Day present from Savvy. 

It's a flight of Godiva Truffles. 

It's not a cheap gift, but it isn't a spa day or weekend trip for mom or a piece of jewelry (I would take the spa day, but the other...nah...lol)

What it is - a thoughtful gift from someone who shares my appreciation of good chocolates. It's a gift to remind me of the times we would go into the Godiva store in Raleigh each month to get our 'free' piece of chocolate. 

(Note...I have only eaten the second one from the left so far. I am spacing them out carefully.)

So how to I feel now?

Better. Much better. 

Now that I have finished reading Cameron's book, I need to go back and actually do the writing exercises in the book. While I do my Morning Pages every morning, I think I need to get back to more journaling. 

I will end on this thought...look around. There is hope and optimism everywhere. And things which will make you laugh.