It’s Not Selfish

Like the majority of parents, mothers in particular, it seems on the list of things to do for, we come at the bottom of the list.  For some reason, there is that nagging feeling if the kids are put first, then you are a bad parent.  Now not saying in case of fire, we should throw ourselves out the door first, but it seems if there is a new pair of shoes, a new outfit, new comforter to be gotten,  we seem to come last.

The reason for this introspection?  I have been reading 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women and have been reading Secret 5: Committing to Self-Focus today.  I have been looking at a new comforter for ages now.  I put off getting one until Savvy moved out and my bedroom moved into a real room.  Texter has had a new comforter set in the past couple of years. So I am in the market for one to go with my purple curtains.  I haven’t had a new comforter in decades!  Yep, decades.  Ok, squishy pillow is selfishly mine, but new bedclothes haven’t graced my bed in ages.

  I know it seems silly to focus on something as mundane as a new comforter, but that has become my new touchstone.  I am slowly at least putting my doings on an equal par with the girls.  One of the quotes which stood out for me is by Marianne Williamson – “And no one will listen to us until we listen to ourselves.  The Goddess awakens in our hearts before she awakens in the world.”

Until I started taking myself seriously as an artist and writer, no one else would either.  Once I said these things were important to me, then others treated them as important also.  People often wondered how, when the girls were little, I could leave out my needlework and they never touched it.  They respected my efforts and my tools, even at a very young age.  Because, at that time, needlework was my important creative outlet.  As I have expanded my areas of creativity, and treating it as important to me, then others around me start taking it seriously also.

Sometimes it’s not selfish to put yourself first.